Declined
Every now and again, I am surprised by people's relationship to money and social image.
I went to one of my favorite local pubs this evening to celebrate all the hard work I have been doing in the past two weeks. They have a wonderful wood burning fireplace, really good beer, and yummy snacks. Also, they have a really really well priced happy hour.
When I wanted to leave I gave my new credit card to pay the check. A little background to this story: My old credit card just expired and they sent me a new one. I just activated the new one yesterday. Well, the waitress came back with a hushed voice and very apologetically said, "It was declined."
So I promptly called the credit card company, had it all straightened out, and the card was activated. I called the waitress over and said, "We sorted it all out. Can you please try this card again?" At which point, she smiled and was very friendly with me.
I was a bit taken aback by her embarrassed and apologetic demeanor in letting me know that my card was declined. I know that people are sometimes embarrassed by this but I do not wholly understand why. (This may be because I was not embarrassed in this situation). I know that usually it is seen as a sign that the person has overcharged on their account. But, there are many reasons why a person's card might get declined. In my case, it was because my card wasn't activated. In some other case, it might be that the person's magnetic strip was demagnetized.
Even if the person had overcharged that one account, so what? Isn't that the problem of the person who's card it is? Why exactly is that a problem to be embarrassed about? I can guess at two possible reasons but I am not sure how accurate they are: 1) getting caught trying to get something you cannot afford causes a lot of problems for the proprietor and ultimately the person who owes the money- problems are embarrassing (though the odd thing is not all problems are embarrassing, only some); 2) getting caught trying to get something that you cannot afford is like getting caught trying to be something you are not (e.g., being poor but pretending to have money)- being labeled a fake or a liar is not a good thing in this society. I feel like I must be missing out on something in my thinking but can't see it clearly. Any thoughts?
I went to one of my favorite local pubs this evening to celebrate all the hard work I have been doing in the past two weeks. They have a wonderful wood burning fireplace, really good beer, and yummy snacks. Also, they have a really really well priced happy hour.
When I wanted to leave I gave my new credit card to pay the check. A little background to this story: My old credit card just expired and they sent me a new one. I just activated the new one yesterday. Well, the waitress came back with a hushed voice and very apologetically said, "It was declined."
So I promptly called the credit card company, had it all straightened out, and the card was activated. I called the waitress over and said, "We sorted it all out. Can you please try this card again?" At which point, she smiled and was very friendly with me.
I was a bit taken aback by her embarrassed and apologetic demeanor in letting me know that my card was declined. I know that people are sometimes embarrassed by this but I do not wholly understand why. (This may be because I was not embarrassed in this situation). I know that usually it is seen as a sign that the person has overcharged on their account. But, there are many reasons why a person's card might get declined. In my case, it was because my card wasn't activated. In some other case, it might be that the person's magnetic strip was demagnetized.
Even if the person had overcharged that one account, so what? Isn't that the problem of the person who's card it is? Why exactly is that a problem to be embarrassed about? I can guess at two possible reasons but I am not sure how accurate they are: 1) getting caught trying to get something you cannot afford causes a lot of problems for the proprietor and ultimately the person who owes the money- problems are embarrassing (though the odd thing is not all problems are embarrassing, only some); 2) getting caught trying to get something that you cannot afford is like getting caught trying to be something you are not (e.g., being poor but pretending to have money)- being labeled a fake or a liar is not a good thing in this society. I feel like I must be missing out on something in my thinking but can't see it clearly. Any thoughts?
posted by Matty Lau at
5:26 PM
1 Comments:
I think one reason she might be embarrassed is because she is sympathetic. She's imagining how she would feel if she were the one who had tried to pay and then discovered that she had no money. I can see why you weren't embarrassed, but if it had been me, and the reason the card was declined was that I had no more credit and would have trouble paying, I would have been embarrassed. So she might be sympathetic or just plain discreet.
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Anonymous, at 12/11/2009 7:22 AM
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