Fortune cookies
This posting was inspired by a posting from another blogger, Dave Alpert. Though the title states fortune cookies, this is really about things I want to do when I have kids one day.
I had toyed with thoughts of making my own "fortune" cookies if I had kids to serve up to their friends. Here are some fortunes I had thought up:
1. You will die one day.
2. You will astonish others with your tremendous display of flatulence.
3. The sun will come out, but it might not be tomorrow.
4. First you broke my heart, why must you also break me? (Okay, this isn't exactly a fortune, but I always felt bad about the cookie and wanted to give it a voice).
5. Someone will like you one day.
I had also wanted to have toilet paper that had messages on it. So that those who forget to bring reading material don't have to feel so lonely and bored on the throne. Things like:
Hi. How are you? Enjoying your stay? How's the weather outside? I wish I could go outside...sigh. Haven't been outside since I left the store. It was such a lovely day, that day. So, have you read any good books lately? If you plan on coming back next time for a longer stay, might I suggest some Kierkegaard? Then we can sit and chat about it for a while.
I had toyed with thoughts of making my own "fortune" cookies if I had kids to serve up to their friends. Here are some fortunes I had thought up:
1. You will die one day.
2. You will astonish others with your tremendous display of flatulence.
3. The sun will come out, but it might not be tomorrow.
4. First you broke my heart, why must you also break me? (Okay, this isn't exactly a fortune, but I always felt bad about the cookie and wanted to give it a voice).
5. Someone will like you one day.
I had also wanted to have toilet paper that had messages on it. So that those who forget to bring reading material don't have to feel so lonely and bored on the throne. Things like:
Hi. How are you? Enjoying your stay? How's the weather outside? I wish I could go outside...sigh. Haven't been outside since I left the store. It was such a lovely day, that day. So, have you read any good books lately? If you plan on coming back next time for a longer stay, might I suggest some Kierkegaard? Then we can sit and chat about it for a while.
posted by Matty Lau at
11:08 AM
2 Comments:
While I like where you're going with the fortune cookies, when it comes to the bathroom, I'm all business. No time for reading material. In and out as fast as possible. I mean, how can I read the comics on the TP while it's crammed in my butt???
By
Anonymous, at 4/24/2006 12:20 PM
I thought there would be more self pity expressed by the TP.
By
Anonymous, at 4/24/2006 9:09 PM
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