Leaking from every orifice

Spring is here! It is lovely. It is sunny, breezy, warm, beautiful, snot-filled, teary, cough-inducing. Gosh, don't you love the season where the tip of your nose is rubbed raw by the tissues. That with every breath you take in you run the risk of sneezing so hard, your brain might be sent to the next county?

And as my husband says about spring- it's all shameless! I went out to my car the other day and it had this green tint to it. It was a dark blue car at one point in time, until all the trees and plants decided to spew out their gametes on my car. Really, that is what pollen is, the emissions of the male reproductive parts of plants. And the females parts aren't any better. They flip open their skirts, wave their private parts in the air in hopes of catching some of the flying gametes. They take exhibitionism to the extreme!

And the more demure ones aren't any better. Though they have covered their private bits with petals, they discreetly lure unwitting insects to them with the sweet nectar. Then once these insects crawl in, they are trapped until they participate some sordid three way copulation act. First the insect is lured into one plant's chamber, rubbing up against the male parts of the plant. Then the same insect is lured into another plant's chamber only to rub up against the female parts of that plant. Such depravity!

I think that all those who are gravely concerned about family values and decency issues in the current day have missed the biggest offenders of them all- NATURE! She puts on the biggest pornography show every year in the spring time. People ought to lock those plants up for their abhorrent behavior.