Taking on Harry and Sally
When I first saw when Harry met Sally, I was soooo mad at that movie. The premise of that movie was that a woman and a man can not have an intellectually and emotionally intimate friendship. That in the end, the only way a woman and a man can relate is through a romantic relationship wherein they end up getting married and make babies.
I have thought about the nature of love, relationships, and the people in my life for a very long time now and have come to the conclusion that things are much more complicated and varied than what that movie (or others like it) present. I have very deep and intimate friendships with both MALES and FEMALES and I am married to only ONE of them. Also, even in the world of romantic relationships, one doesn't always want to get married and make babies with the other person- and that DOESN'T mean that the relationship is any less of a relationship.
Additionally, why are hugging, kissing and exhibiting physical contact such a weird thing for people! Why is physical intimacy with people you care about such a taboo thing? I love my husband, but I don't want all the meaningful hugs I can get to only come from him. When I was in undergrad, at a women's college, I used to get lots and lots of hugs and other physical contact from my friends. Now, it seems that the only kind i can get are from some really close female friends and males. Why are women so afraid of hugging each other? Are heterosexual men only doing it to cop a feel? I don't understand this whole gendered relationship thing.
I tried for a while hugging people that I was happy to see as my way to subvert the no-touching paradigm. But then I realize that some people were uncomfortable with having their physical space invaded and I needed to respect their discomfort. Sigh. I need a new approach to bringing about my touching revolution.
Maybe I should get a button that says, "hug me." Oh, if anyone knows how I can get the t-shirt that says "hugs not drugs" (or better yet, "hugs AND drugs"), I'd be very much indebt to you.
I have thought about the nature of love, relationships, and the people in my life for a very long time now and have come to the conclusion that things are much more complicated and varied than what that movie (or others like it) present. I have very deep and intimate friendships with both MALES and FEMALES and I am married to only ONE of them. Also, even in the world of romantic relationships, one doesn't always want to get married and make babies with the other person- and that DOESN'T mean that the relationship is any less of a relationship.
Additionally, why are hugging, kissing and exhibiting physical contact such a weird thing for people! Why is physical intimacy with people you care about such a taboo thing? I love my husband, but I don't want all the meaningful hugs I can get to only come from him. When I was in undergrad, at a women's college, I used to get lots and lots of hugs and other physical contact from my friends. Now, it seems that the only kind i can get are from some really close female friends and males. Why are women so afraid of hugging each other? Are heterosexual men only doing it to cop a feel? I don't understand this whole gendered relationship thing.
I tried for a while hugging people that I was happy to see as my way to subvert the no-touching paradigm. But then I realize that some people were uncomfortable with having their physical space invaded and I needed to respect their discomfort. Sigh. I need a new approach to bringing about my touching revolution.
Maybe I should get a button that says, "hug me." Oh, if anyone knows how I can get the t-shirt that says "hugs not drugs" (or better yet, "hugs AND drugs"), I'd be very much indebt to you.
posted by Matty Lau at
12:30 PM
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