jetsetting and the troubles with committed relationships.

Just went to a friend's wedding down in North Carolina. It took place at the Chapel on Duke University's campus. Boy, that is a well endowed university. It was from the 1800's I think and it was a marvel of woodwork, metalwork and stonework. It was smaller than the cathedrals from the Renaissance period of Europe but it was no less ornate nor of less craftsmanship. J, two friends and I drove down on Saturday and came back on Sunday.

It was a fun time. I'm glad I went but now I am worn out and have a hard time focusing on my dissertation.

To further continue my travels, I will be leaving on Sunday for a two week trip to three (possibly four) cities in two different countries in a different continent. That is my long way of saying I will be in Utretcht, Netherlands for a conference then visiting a friend in Hamburg, Germany and then in-laws in Rosstock, Germany.

I'm sure it will be fun but I really don't want to do much travelling and just want some quiet time with my dissertation. Part of it is that I am at a hard and complicated part that really requires a lot of my attention. We (my dissertation and I) are currently have a difficult time right now but we have faith in each other and the relationship. We know that we will ride through this rough spot, we have in the past. But we need time together. Time to work through our communication issues. Time to reaffirm our love and commitment to each other. With all this travel, I worry that I will not be able to do what is needed. It was very difficult from March to April when I had to do a lot of travelling and dealing with a lot of other emotional issues. My dissertation felt neglected and was upset. For weeks she wouldn't talk to me and so I couldn't write. It was awful. I devoted May to repairing our relationship and I think it is starting to be okay again. I worry that with this slate of travelling, she will feel neglected again and just shut off from me. I mean I'll bring her along but writing while travelling is not the same as sitting in my office and devoting all my attention and energy for a good four hours writing. I hope she'll understand. sigh....