Declined

Every now and again, I am surprised by people's relationship to money and social image.

I went to one of my favorite local pubs this evening to celebrate all the hard work I have been doing in the past two weeks. They have a wonderful wood burning fireplace, really good beer, and yummy snacks. Also, they have a really really well priced happy hour.

When I wanted to leave I gave my new credit card to pay the check. A little background to this story: My old credit card just expired and they sent me a new one. I just activated the new one yesterday. Well, the waitress came back with a hushed voice and very apologetically said, "It was declined."

So I promptly called the credit card company, had it all straightened out, and the card was activated. I called the waitress over and said, "We sorted it all out. Can you please try this card again?" At which point, she smiled and was very friendly with me.

I was a bit taken aback by her embarrassed and apologetic demeanor in letting me know that my card was declined. I know that people are sometimes embarrassed by this but I do not wholly understand why. (This may be because I was not embarrassed in this situation). I know that usually it is seen as a sign that the person has overcharged on their account. But, there are many reasons why a person's card might get declined. In my case, it was because my card wasn't activated. In some other case, it might be that the person's magnetic strip was demagnetized.

Even if the person had overcharged that one account, so what? Isn't that the problem of the person who's card it is? Why exactly is that a problem to be embarrassed about? I can guess at two possible reasons but I am not sure how accurate they are: 1) getting caught trying to get something you cannot afford causes a lot of problems for the proprietor and ultimately the person who owes the money- problems are embarrassing (though the odd thing is not all problems are embarrassing, only some); 2) getting caught trying to get something that you cannot afford is like getting caught trying to be something you are not (e.g., being poor but pretending to have money)- being labeled a fake or a liar is not a good thing in this society. I feel like I must be missing out on something in my thinking but can't see it clearly. Any thoughts?

Kitchen empowerment

It is quite empowering to be able to make the things I normally buy from the store. J and I have recently gotten into making a lot of the food we normally purchase. Doing so helps me: 1) de-mystify a lot of the stuff we use on a regular basis, 2) see what I am putting into me, and 3) given me more control over my life (I know, to a fair degree, what I am putting in to my body).

Baking had always seemed magical to me- but I found out how easy it is to bake. You just follow a recipe. Chinese people do not make baked goods much. We "bake" things like salt-baked chicken, roasted duck, and the such. With bready type products, which is more typically a northern Chinese thing, we steam cook it. It makes for super moist breads with a lovely shiny skin- very very pretty. So we have gotten into making mini muffins (those were the only muffin trays we had in the house), pizzas (we just got a pizza stone for Christmas and are L-O-V-I-N-G it), breads (with the bread maker), and cakes.

Another thing we have been making (every week, in fact) is our own fat-free yogurt. We started off with a recipe from the internet but by know I know it by heart. I got the idea to do my own yogurt from my dear friend who keeps a blog on food, decorations, and other stylish things. (TIP: I use a cooler, a hot water bottle, and some towels to keep the containers of yogurt mixture at a steady temperature for about 7 hours, plus or minus an hour or two). It is pretty easy to follow a recipe.

Last night, J made matzah ball soup. We already had a turkey based broth made (compliments of Turkey day leftovers). He found a good recipe that used canola oil instead of schmaltz. YUMMY! When I complimented J on the delicious matzah ball soup (I actually gave him a big ol' hug and said, "You're awesome!") he simply said, "Well, it's pretty easy to follow a recipe."

So the theme for kitchen empowerment is really quite simple- just follow the recipe. You too can do it, especially with the help of the internet. Or if you can't get access to the internet, you can go to a library or bookstore with some index cards. I'd love to hear your empowerment stories too. It doesn't have to be from the kitchen.