The Mongo Brain

Friday, December 30, 2005

Found some hilarious videos and pictures on a site called On Second Thought and came across some videos done by some college kids in china. Sooo funny. THey lip sync to some cheesy chinese and american pop songs. So poignant, so beautiful, so breathtaking, their performances.

Check out the videos in the link below.
http://twochineseboys.blogspot.com/

We have contact!

So a while ago I posted about feeling like I was in a lone outpost past the edge of civilization because I hadn't gotten any comments from readers. I had no idea whether or not anyone was even reading my blog. Well, to date, I have gotten two comments and
I just wanted to celebrate!
YAY!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

making connections

I started this CD project with my friends as a way to connect my friends who don't live near each other. Some of these people would probably never meet each other and I'd like them to connect some how. I got this idea from a friend of mine whose girlfriend started this. The idea is to create a list of criteria for a CD (e.g. track number one needs to have the word blue in the title. track two is a song that makes you happy, track three is the 5th track from a CD you can't believe you own, etc). Then send out the criteria to your friends who want to participate, set a deadline and everyone creates a compilation that fulfills all the track criteria, burns CD's for each participant and mails it (or passes it along) to the other participants.
It has been fun trying to come up with these songs- though a bit daunting considering how little I really know about music (quite a few of my friends are music connoisseurs).

The other thing that i had wanted to do but never got around to continuing it was a doodle exchange. I meet lots of really interesting and cool people just in my daily wanderings. I wanted to do a doodle trade with them. We each draw a doodle with the intent of giving it to each other. It would be dated, signed and labelled some how. In the end, I wanted to collect a whole book of these doodles. I have one already from an Italian dancer who I met on New Year's Eve about 5 or 6 years ago. It is a really fantastic drawing. He was one of the dancers who worked in a show with a friend of my husband's who was doing the music to the show. I thnk I need to start carrying around a sketch book if I was going to do that. The trouble is that most people get scared off and feel put on the spot if I ask them for a doodle.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Merry Christmakkah

It is Christmas/Chanukkah today! I will be celebrating by cleaning my apartment, washing the floors, and possibly making potato pancakes with my husband. What will you do today?

Saturday, December 24, 2005

holiday season

my family celebrates christmas. not as a religious tradition in my family but as an american tradition. in america, we celebrate fourth of july, thanksgiving, and christmas. For us, it has very little to do with the historic traditions of america as it has to do with the current traditions- you don't have to go to work, eat lots of good food, and hang out with friends and family. Then for each particular holiday, there are certain rites associated with it. Fourth of July is all about going somewhere else, e.g. our summer vacation, and seeing the fireworks. Thanksgiving is all about the big potluck meal we have together as a family (extended included). for those who know how to cook and enjoy it, it is where we get to really have fun whipping up stuff. in recent years, have started to play board games together. though with a little nephew that requires a lot of attention, it was a bit hard to carry on a game this year. then christmas is about having another big dinner and giving each other gifts.

The gift giving part has caused me a lot of stress as I have gotten older. My husband spent a part of the afternoon yesterday telling me, "it's okay dear. You are an adult now. you pay your own rent. it is okay." It just cracked me up. The funny thing is that I don't recall having this kind of a fear as a kid- fear that what I give isn't good enough. This was a fear that developed as I got older.

Friday, December 23, 2005

below the poverty line

I saw an article on a web news spot that said that washington dc was one of the top 10 poorest cities in america- with like 12 (or maybe it was 17, I can't remember) percent of the population living below the poverty line. It also said that when you look at those numbers in relation to children, those numbers jump up to the 20's.
For a long time, I didnt know what it meant to live below the poverty line. My only image was of homeless mentally ill older people- on the west coast, in the south, I think it also included some veterans, on the west coast, it included teenage runaways.

So I live in a neighborhood where there are quite a few families really struggling to make ends meet- most likely living below the poverty line. Here is one case. My neighbor has four little children. They seem really sweet so far, the whole family. So I have noticed that their apartment doesn't seem to have any furniture. WHy don't they have furniture? There are thrift stores and free stuff all over the place- that's how I got most of my furniture. Well, they don't have a car (nor the means to rent one) and they probably don't have the time, like I do. I do not work two jobs or long hours AND have four kids. Also, for one person, living below the poverty line means living with less than 10 thousand a year. I have never come close to that.

Doesn't the government provide services to help these kinds of families? Yes and no. One summer I worked at the public advocates' office (notice, I worked there for free and so got access to many opportunities for networking- not something I could do if I was living below poverty level). Some other interns were researching the welfare system for a report to the public advocate. They decided to try to apply for public assistance- just to see what the process is like. It took them two days to get an application. They stood in line, waiting to get on line for another line, so they could get the form to request an application. they were sent to different places, told that they didn't have the right kinds of certification at one place or the right identification at another or that simply, this wasn't the right time for them to come to apply. Now, these are college educated government interns. It can't be for lack of english reading knowledge that caused them to not know what were the right procedures or pieces of identification. The lines were long, the process convoluted, the applications incomprehsible. That means this is two days out of work to apply for public assistance.

Recently, my roomate saw the my neighbor's kids and asked them, "what is Santa getting for you for Christmas this year?" To which the mom quickly replied, "She isn't getting anything because she is bad." I am pretty sure that the girl isn't that bad but it is just that they can't afford presents. That whole situation just made me mad. Mad at my roomate for asking that and not realizing the discomfort it was going to cause, mad that the mom felt embarassed and as a result probably made her daughter feel bad. mad that the little girl had to feel bad for no particular reason. mad that we have a system that doesn't really work and isn't helping this family. then mad at the people who choose to ignore this, to say that the poorness of the family is their fault (that they are not good enough so that's why they are so poor- so is this what flows from Calvinism?). mad mad mad mad.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

procrastination

I really am not sure why I procrastinate. Part of it is that things just get in the way of the thigns I need to do. I don't really know why that happens but it does. Part of it is that I let things get in the way of the things i need to do- like what I am doing right now instead of the paper I should be writing.

Is it because I am scared of doing the work? Why? I know it is an issue of discipline, but I don't know why. It is more than just I need to put more effort into it because I am very good at creating tasks that require a lot of effort and discipline to carry through that can effectively distract me away from the work I need to do, like this paper I need to write. Like I am willing to create a whole new filing system and closet organization structure just to avoid doing this paper. I am willing to sit there and listen to a friend of mine struggle through life's big questions just to avoid doing the paper. All very worthy goals that require work. None of which are absolutely necessary RIGHT NOW- unlike this paper, which is due tomorrow at 5 pm.

Ugh, I am scared of when I need to write my dissertation how that will go. I fear I do not have enough discipline to get through it.
It kind of makes me pukey-nervous thinking about it.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Finals in grad land; an email that made me ill

so it is finals time in grad land. working on an interesting paper where i look at some exams and projects that a math instructor assigned to get a sense of the kinds of things this instructor thinks is important for someone to do in mathematics.

wanted to complain about people who think that rhetoric is sufficient support for an argument (here I mean a line of reasoning or thought), who do not understand the difference between debating, verbal bullying, conversation and dialogue. I recently got an email that offended me so much I was livid about it for at least a whole day (am still livid about it). It was couched as an article written by some guy in Florida for a Tampa newspaper. My cousin forwarded it to me from her boyfriend (he must have gotten it from someone else). It is the kind where someone complains about multiculturalism- that it some how is diluting American culture. For some odd reason, the typical conclusion that espousers of this kind of thought view equate disagreement with their ideas as being disloyal or unpatriotic to America. Therefore, dissenters should just leave the country when they are done complaining.

There are so many things wrong with this argument. it is a gross misunderstanding of what the first amendment means, how democracy operates, and what it means to be an American. What meaning does the first amendment have if the solution to disagreements is to remove the voice that does not agree with you? Even if that writer isn't old enough to remember Tianamen Square, we can reference what is happening in Iran to consider what that writer is asking about.

As to cultural dilution, what is the culture of America? What is produced by Hollywood does not constitute all of America. Neither the culture of the Southeast nor the Northeast. The culture of the midwest represents only that, the midwest. The attempts that I can think of to create a "unified culture" for a country has often went down a road I would not like to see America go down (re: Hutus and Tutsis, Cultural Revolution in China, Bosnia, Croatia, Germany during World War II, etc). Then to try to quell dissent by having it removed? My guess is that the person who wrote this probably doesn't consider himself to be in the same boat as Castro, Mao Tse Dong, or Saddam Hussein, or does he?

I am not against having different opinions and ideologies, but I want someone who takes this view that multiculturalism is bad for America to give me a well reasoned, well articulated argument. Then, possibly we can have a dialogue about ideas and come to understand things a bit more. I think that people like the author of the email give conservatives a really bad name. I think I am also operating under the assumption that dialogue, achieving understanding for the purpose of moving us past sticking points to real progress is something that everyone wants. Some people might not want that. Okay, so even if they don't want to dialogue, then I want someone who is willing to hold their ideas out for scrutiny and have a debate with me. To not be afraid that their ideas might have holes in it. I'll do the same with mine.

I have been trying really hard to put aside my anger and to understand what that email is really about. To take that person seriously. This is as close as I can get. At the heart of it, the person is uncomfortable (dare I say, scared) of the changes that are happening. In reality, the boundaries between things are not so clear- no clear, us or them, no clear good or bad, no clear black or white. In fact, it ain't even so binary that we are only dealing with shades of grey, we've got yellow, red, brown, etc. Given the state of the world today, and where it seems to be heading, we are often confronted with the fact that we can't deal with things so easily any more and that scares a lot of people. Their previous binary assumptions are being challenged. I think that they feel a loss of their sense of the world, their place in it and their understanding of how things operate. For some people, they can't deal with change, never move past the fearful grieving state and stew in anger (or shut down and give up).

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

thirty

oh, I turned thirty on Monday. I had one of the best birthday celebrations I've had in a very long time. it was almost like the kind of happy I used to have as a kid. The kind that starts in the morning and stays with you all the way to bedtime. friends came over for a brunch and I had a nice dinner with my sweetheart.

I like being thirty. I think I really was looking forward to turning thirty all last year. The last time I remember being this excited about being a certain age was when I turned 14. I am also looking forward to 35. Forty for some reason sounds really serious to me. And fifty. Then sixty is when it gets fun again. and seventy, eighty, ninety and so on. I am not sure how i think about 110-120. It seems like I will be in my teens all over again.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

blah blah blah

Posting regularly is like doing exercises. It is good for my blog health. it is actually fun. But if I don't do it for a while, it takes quite a bit of motivation to actually log on and write something. Take for today...it has been a bit since i last posted. Thanksgiving has come and gone. I just found out someone I had a relationship once has changed sex and is now in a relationship with a man. My roomate is going into business doing sensual massage from our apartment. Lots of things have been happening. But...but, I feel like I have nothing to write about (kind of like what happens when i look in the closet sometimes, lots of clothes but nothing to wear).
I dunno...maybe I can come up with something later.