sometimes I wish...

So sometimes I wish I had superhuman powers.

The superhuman powers I wish I had would be to be able to put out a job application and know with quiet confidence whether I was going to be hired or not when I send off that application. I guess it would save me all the hassle of applying for a job I wasn't going to get but I guess it might seriously depress me to know ahead of time the number of rejections (because that is just generally what happens, very small percentages of acceptances). Maybe I should revise that, to have the superhuman power of getting acceptances to every thing to which I apply! I guess while I'm at it, I wouldn't mind having the power of being able to just look at something and make it clean and orderly (I'm sitting here making googley eyes at my desk at the moment...ain't working too well).

Alas, sigh, I am only human with humanly powers.

What superpowers would you like to have?

a weakness...

I have an affinity, okay really a weakness, for desk and fancy bathroom supplies.

Every time I go by Staples, Office Max, any stationary store, Linens -n-Things, Bed, Bath, and Beyond, L'Occident, Crabtree and Evelyn, or any store with fancy bathing accoutrements, I feel a little weak in the knees, a tug at my psyche and a longing in my heart. It doesn't matter that I have more thank you and blank cards than I have time to write. It doesn't matter that I have organic facial mask stuff and fancy soaps that are still waiting to be opened. If I could just find that perfect pen to go with that superb piece of paper or that heavenly towel that I will use after I have bathed in some luxuriously scented bubble bath, then my life will be wonderful.

But that's just the start. When I really get into thinking about it, it isn't just pens, towels, papers, and soaps. It is also shelving, organizers, furnitures, fixtures, and the decorations that go with the environments in which those things are enjoyed.

It isn't just the rooms for the office and the bath. It is also what view is outside the windows of those places. I was once in a bathroom in NYC where one of the walls of the stalls was a huge ceiling to floor window. We were far enough away and high up in enough that I don't think anyone could really see in, but the view of the East River and the Brooklyn Bridge was just lovely. If I were to live in a large city, that would be my dream bathroom.

That would mean I would have to earn enough money to purchase a place where I could have a bathroom like that.

Will work for a good bathroom.

blogs from friends and TV

I love that my friends and family create photo sharing and blog sites now. It makes it sooo much easier to keep up with my friends, especially since quite a few of them now have kids. I think what's great is that I get to see the lovely pics of my friends and their families when i need a break from my dissertation (or other writing). Since I don't own a TV, this provides me with nice little short bursts of distractios. It also helps me keep connected to folks I care about on a more "everyday" kind of basis. Then when i actually am able to chat with folks on email or the phone, we've already had the "let me catch you up on things" conversation and can spend time developing deeper connections.

So, folks, keep it up!

I guess I should do my part too.
To my friends who may be curious: I have not heard from the people who I interviewed with in March. They were supposed to have made their decision two weeks ago. I was sad, despondent, angry and anxious all last week. I think I have finally let it go and am now looking forward to looking for another job. In finding a job, there are always going to be some rejections and some offers- it's part of the game. I don't doubt that I will find gainful employment I can be happy with because education is a pretty big field.

Good morning!

Figured I should try to post regularly and will try to pick out time whenever I can.

This week the weather has been a bit cool but definitely on the mild side. Spring is here and by golly it is beautiful. I planted some tulip and crocuses this past fall. SInce March, I tried to put down some grass seed to repair our very very sad looking lawn. Some of them are starting to sprout but right now it looks like a bald man, a few thin shoots here and there. I have to stop putting down grass seed because I found out that the new shoots won't have enough time to put down roots to survive the summer heat here. We have lots of clay and when it gets hot, if the roots are too small or thin, the ground just bakes it and cooks up the roots.
I also recently found out that due to our laziness we have killed quite a bit of the ivy. I didn't think that was physically possible- doesn't ivy outlive and conquer EVERYTHING? We have these five large old trees that drop a lot of leaves in the fall. We raked all the leaves on the lawn but thought to just leave the rest to compost. Well, a good chunk of them laid on top of the ivy that is along the driveway. The ivy patches are trying to grow back but they too resemble the lawn.


I did a job interview in March for a position at a really really sweet organization. I have still yet to hear from them. I've done everything I could to let them know that I really really would like to work there (well short of camping out in front of their building). Now it is just the wait for them to respond. Sigh. Not very good at waiting.

things change...

Yes, we all know that things change. But it doesn't mean we have to like it. I came back to my hometown (NYC) and discovered that two things I found much joy in holding in my mind are gone.

My grandma died recently. Yes, the same grandma I wrote so lovingly about a few posts back. I came back to visit her grave site because it is the chinese holiday of Ancestor's remebrance. On the way up to her gravesite, I had to say goodbye to her garden and on the way back, I had to say goodbye to my favorite place in NYC.

She and my grandpa loved to garden. he had beautiful rose bushes in the front and she had beautiful zinnias, daffodils, and other dramatic flowers in the back. Now that both grandparents are dead, the family is going to rent out. For ease of management, they are going to pave over the gardens. Then they don't have to hire someone to take care of the garden and it is just a lot easier. My mom had her backyard paved over with green and red concrete because she didn't like bugs. The green was to abate my protests over the destruction of grass and green space. In their defense, the garden has gone fallow for a few years now but the soil is so rich everything wants to grow there. Returning it to its former glory would be very easy.

Upon returning from the cemetery, we were to pass one my favorite spots in NYC. It is a small concrete island on the southbound side of the FDR between exits 16 and 17. It is under the various ramps that shuttle people between highways and streets. On this island there are usually various pieces of junk lying around (e.g., old furniture, stuffed animals, thigh-masters, etc). The thing is, if you drive by a few times (e.g., a couple of weeks in a row), you will notice that the "junk" is displayed
is particular ways. Once I saw all the stuffed animals having tea together. Another time, things were set up like a workout gym. My favorite display, that I saw whilst speeding by at 40 miles an hour was a living room set up with a man in a sport coat sitting at a barcalounger reading the paper.

Well, as we neared that spot, there was a lot of construction equipment lining the highway. My heart sobbed no though I tried to keep it under wraps and hope that it wasn't gone too. As we drove past that concrete island, I saw a large dirt hill covering my beloved concrete island. That's gone too, probably permanently, since construction in NYC takes decades to finish.

sigh...