jetsetting and the troubles with committed relationships.

Just went to a friend's wedding down in North Carolina. It took place at the Chapel on Duke University's campus. Boy, that is a well endowed university. It was from the 1800's I think and it was a marvel of woodwork, metalwork and stonework. It was smaller than the cathedrals from the Renaissance period of Europe but it was no less ornate nor of less craftsmanship. J, two friends and I drove down on Saturday and came back on Sunday.

It was a fun time. I'm glad I went but now I am worn out and have a hard time focusing on my dissertation.

To further continue my travels, I will be leaving on Sunday for a two week trip to three (possibly four) cities in two different countries in a different continent. That is my long way of saying I will be in Utretcht, Netherlands for a conference then visiting a friend in Hamburg, Germany and then in-laws in Rosstock, Germany.

I'm sure it will be fun but I really don't want to do much travelling and just want some quiet time with my dissertation. Part of it is that I am at a hard and complicated part that really requires a lot of my attention. We (my dissertation and I) are currently have a difficult time right now but we have faith in each other and the relationship. We know that we will ride through this rough spot, we have in the past. But we need time together. Time to work through our communication issues. Time to reaffirm our love and commitment to each other. With all this travel, I worry that I will not be able to do what is needed. It was very difficult from March to April when I had to do a lot of travelling and dealing with a lot of other emotional issues. My dissertation felt neglected and was upset. For weeks she wouldn't talk to me and so I couldn't write. It was awful. I devoted May to repairing our relationship and I think it is starting to be okay again. I worry that with this slate of travelling, she will feel neglected again and just shut off from me. I mean I'll bring her along but writing while travelling is not the same as sitting in my office and devoting all my attention and energy for a good four hours writing. I hope she'll understand. sigh....

hot geeks.....

If I had lots of money, I'd do lots of shopping here...

http://www.thinkgeek.com/

...and I really don't like shopping at all. That must mean this is a really cool site. Check it out!

On a different note, the weather has decided to b!+@CH-slap us lately. We had a tornado and now withering heat.

In efforts to save energy (and costs) this winter, we kept the heat low and and butts frozen. As a result of that, I am very used to being cold. So now, when the temperature has hit a consistant mid to high 90's F with 75% or more humidity, I can't handle it. I am whiney, sluggish, crabby, sweaty, and just plain not happy. We have only one air conditioner up in this house and it is barely working. My housemate, husband and I take turns sitting in front of it.

I so prefer my cold and numb appendages to these heat headaches any day.

Lastly, my parents came to visit. YAY! We went to the International Spy Museum and learned all about espionage. On the way home, J and I saw a drug deal go down. One guy walked by another guy, passed him a McDonald's bag (was bunched too tight and small to hold even a hamburger), then turned around and walked away. Now with my well trained eyes, I know he must have been dealing in contraband!

those days..

You ever get those days where you just think..."man I'm kinda sucky and I kinda do sucky things." Well, it's one of those kind of days today.

So there was a tornado warning and being in the basement, I had no idea it was going on. I heard sirens but I thought "Oh, it's wednesday, maybe it is our air raid drill". So, all of the sudden, there was all this noise in the hallway. I am thirsty, tired and cranky. Then all of the sudden some people just walk into our office and start trying to make cellphone calls, use our phones, etc. I got kinda of cranky and kind of cranky with the wrong person (she is a professor in this dept.). I was irritated that people were barging into my office space or making that much noise. Well, everyone who knew what was going on outside and who knew who I had just irritated royally and made a big fool out of myself tried to educate me (and prevent me from making a bigger fool out of myself). Well, so I get angry too easily and irritated without trying to be understanding. I frequently (or at least I think i frequently do) make stupid social mishaps like this out of anger and frustration, or sometimes out of sticking my nose where it doesn't belong out of a desire to do something nice. But I guess I am not that good with social stuff and I should just stop. I guess the other part of the problem is that I stick my nose in things that might not need me to help out with.

So I feel kind of sucky right now.

It also doesn't help that I am having trouble with my dissertation right now. can't figure something out and all my doubts about my abilities are coming to mind.

Also, I'm hungry and still a little sick.

Am I just making excuses? Maybe.